I've never been particularly impressed by I.T. bods. It is sooooooooo rare to meet one that does actually know what they are talking about. I've worked for some major global companies in my time (e.g. DHL, Xerox, Agfa, Regus) and found that if the problem with the PC can't be fixed by 'switching it off and back on again' , then I'm pretty much on my own!

 

I've found that the VAST majority of I.T people are fantastic at gobbing off about how great the latest 'Giga' this and 'Terra' that are, what the latest chip set is, and how fast their PC at home is, blah blah blah. Ask them to actually FIX the thing though and their fooked.

 

It's a bit like the bloke we all know, the dweeb in the anorak, grey trousers and Hush Puppies who can tell you the date of manufacture, engine capacity, horse power and valve angle of every Ferrari ever made. Ask him to do a belt change (or even fill up the washer bottle) on one and he wouldn't have a CLUE!

 

Anyway I had a CLASSIC today! My PC at work is 5 YEARS OLD and still running version 1 of Windows 98!! :nelson: It is an absolute heap of shit! Well, it's finally ground to a halt (it's been threatening to for 6 months!) You have to reboot it 20 times until it starts properly, and even then, when you try to open an application the whole thing stops. So I called the I.T. Dept.......

 

 

I.T. - "Whats the problem"

 

Me - "My PC is fooked. Its 5 years old, still running 98, and has been like this for months. Check your logs and you'll see I notified you of this 6 months ago. It's finally given up the ghost. It won't boot up, and if it does it hangs. Can't do anything with it."

 

I.T. - "Hmmmm Ok, so what do you want to do about it?" :confused:

 

Me- "Well, I'd like a new PC. We're a big company with over 200 sites and valued at close to £500,000,000, I reckon we can afford a new one. I'll even pay for it from my 'cost centre'."

 

I.T. - "You can't have a new PC. It's against company policy" :confused:

 

Me - "EH??!?! Ok, well I might be able to fix it with a new OS. Can you send me one of your Windows 2000 CD's and licences? I'll install it and get it running"

 

I.T. - "No, you can't have a new OS. W2003 is being rolled out accross the company, but you're not scheduled to have it until November"

 

Me - "Well, can you bump me up the queue? I've got a problem now."

 

I.T. - "No, you'll have to send your PC back to us so we can look at it, but to be honest we probably won't be able to fix it and will have send it back to you in the same condition"

 

Me - " YOU WHAT??!?!?! "

 

I.T. - "Have you tried switching it off and back on again? We call that re-booting" :mad: :xxx:

 

Me - "Yes, I have. Before it went kaput completely I had already done a thorough disc clean up, 'scan-disk' and defragged it. Now it doesn't work at all."

 

I.T. - "Hmmmm, I'm really not sure of what it could be. I'll have to open a new fault log on it. Can you put it all down in writing and e-mail it to me?" ?????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :mac1: :rofl: :rofl: :slap:

 

 

That's what I have come to expect of I.T. Depts. Any of you experts out there care to defend your corner? :p

LMAO!! smash it to pieces with a hammer, then send it to them!!! :D

thats class :rofl: i know the kind of person you are taking about as i have them at my work, no common sense :slap:

To be fair however, we have a helpdesk at work - and they're not experts.

 

All calls are treated to in the same way - according to a 'script'. The real experts are those that actually receive the fault after the helpdesk have logged it. They're the ones who know what they're doing but, 'users' are expected to explain their issues to a no-brainer! (BTW, the only requirement to work on a IT helpdesk, at least for first-line calls, it the ability to speak)

 

Still, I would expect a replacement PC in your predicament - and same day too. Call your line manager and tell him your "PeeCee" is broken and get him to put a rocket up someones arse in the IT dept.

 

Simon. (a real expert :D)

To be fair however, we have a helpdesk at work - and they're not experts.

 

All calls are treated to in the same way - according to a 'script'. The real experts are those that actually receive the fault (trouble ticket). They're the ones who know what they're doing but, 'users' are expected to explain their issues to a no-brainer! (BTW, the only requirement to work on a IT helpdesk, at least for first-line calls, it the ability to speak)

 

Simon. (a real expert :D)

 

 

Yeah, fair play, I know that's what it's like in the larger help-desk 'call-centres', but my poxy firm's I.T. dept consists of 5 'experts', and it was one of them that I was talking to!

 

(I do know some IT bods who know their shit. One of them's on about £28K per MONTH! Probably small time in the IT world, but a salary figure I can only dream of!)

Get rid of end users and system administrators who f\/ck about all the time when they shouldn't.

 

F\/ck me, nine times outta ten everywhere I have worked in my 10+ years in IT either an end user has p1ssed about with something they shouldn't have or some God like administrator who just can't leave alone without f\/cking about causes the problems!

 

However, Mr. Biker, I would say that WHAT THE F\/CK are you doing working on a PC that is running 98?

 

Quick solution, get Unix, Linux, Solaris, HP-UX, AIX anything but the pile of crap that is a MicroShaft operating system.

 

FFS, even the snooker score board f\/cked itself during the World Championship and when the camera gave you a shot of the overhead monitors I noticed a quick glimpse of a DOS window...FFS...it is crap in a box!

 

Steve Jobs, if I were you I would've assassinated that tw@t gates by now for stealing your glorious thunder! APPLE should be where MicroShaft are now IMHO.

 

End of rant :)

 

Pheewwww I feel better for that now.

 

Timmy Turbo

You sound like a Computer User, Nont Technical :D

Apple! ROFL @ Timmy :rofl:

Well at least the MAC OS is based around unix so negat viruses that are written by script kiddies specifically aimed at the Windows OS. Yeah it is funny coz they are the underdog but aren't we in the same situation?

 

We drive milkfloats when according to the poopra lot we could be driving Soups? LMFAO :)

 

Oh and the iPod is selling rather well from what I can gather.

 

Nevermind that, the issue here is bad support in terms of Mr. Biker, poor bloke having to work with a PC that is running 98! LOL :)

Well at least the MAC OS is based around unix so negat viruses that are written by script kiddies specifically aimed at the Windows OS. Yeah it is funny coz they are the underdog but aren't we in the same situation?

 

We drive milkfloats when according to the poopra lot we could be driving Soups? LMFAO :)

 

Oh and the iPod is selling rather well from what I can gather.

 

Nevermind that, the issue here is bad support in terms of Mr. Biker, poor bloke having to work with a PC that is running 98! LOL :)

 

My brother got a iPod for his b/day - really nice - Apples design team know their stuff. Perhaps they should consider car styling!

LOL this is how to fix it mate!

Well, I was a programmer for 8+ years on PC's. Software should be written and sold to the client, the client should then be shot so that they can't cause any errors. Users are there own worst enemy :)

 

But then it sounds like you had a real problem and your IT dept is so wrapped up in it's own red tape that they have lost all common sense! I have seen it before in big companies, middle management has nothing to do but create paperwork which then stuffs up every one else. The poor guy probably really wanted to help you but was to scared to do it with out filling out shit loads of paper work.....poor shmuck, but then that don't get your PC fixed :) O'h well.....

The last 2 problems I have had, rather than fix it myself, I have done what I've been asked to do and e-mailed my IS department. The two responses to the queries were:

 

1) "It's either a hardware or a software problem." - no sh1t??? :rofl:

 

and

 

2) "The official IS response is that you're fooked mate!" - ok, so I'm mates with the guy who gave that reply, but the point is the same. :slap:

 

I fixed both problems on my own being a typical guy who works for a software company and thinks he knows what he's talking about (and for once, actually did). Bet the IS guys get paid more than me though!

 

David

One of the PCs wasnt displaying our own web site correctly and hadn't been for a while and the user phoned the computer department asking some one to fix it.

 

First person came down looked at the problem and clicked refresh, where he was told that he has tried clicking refresh a few hundred times over the past weeks and it didnt work. That computer person left and 20 mins later another computer person came down looked at his PC and clicked refresh. Again he was told that its been tried by himself and the previous IT person. 20 mins later another person comes and does exactly the same. Just clicks refresh. :confused:

Yet again it didnt work, and they said they didnt know why it wasnt working.

I was in work told this tale and within 2 mins I had it working, and I didnt click refresh.

 

Stuart

One of the PCs wasnt displaying our own web site correctly and hadn't been for a while and the user phoned the computer department asking some one to fix it.

 

First person came down looked at the problem and clicked refresh, where he was told that he has tried clicking refresh a few hundred times over the past weeks and it didnt work. That computer person left and 20 mins later another computer person came down looked at his PC and clicked refresh. Again he was told that its been tried by himself and the previous IT person. 20 mins later another person comes and does exactly the same. Just clicks refresh. :confused:

Yet again it didnt work, and they said they didnt know why it wasnt working.

I was in work told this tale and within 2 mins I had it working, and I didnt click refresh.

 

Stuart

 

Stu you are a star mate, don't you get it? Everyone who works in IT is in it for the wonga, not actually doing any real work! LMFAO :)

Stu you are a star mate, don't you get it? Everyone who works in IT is in it for the wonga, not actually doing any real work! LMFAO :)

 

 

I wasnt working for the computer dep then but I am now, so I will know what to do. "Restart your computer" did that sound techy enough.

 

One of the questions in my interview asked why people asked for my help before ringing the computer department. I said I didnt know, but I really wanted to say is "Its because your shit!"

There are an awful lot of over-paid and under-clued PC monkeys out there - but that's not what I would call an IT bod! And yeah you do get a lot of chipset and clock speed cock-waving. I just grit my teeth and ignore it.

 

The quality of the central desktop support function does seem to be in inverse proportion to the size of the company, doesn't it? :rofl:

 

People are always surprised - indeed just refuse to believe it - when I tell them I work in IT but I know practically nothing about Windows XP or ME, and have no wish to.

 

Conversely the reason these PC geezers can't fix problems in an office in because they're usually network problems...

 

But then again the people you're talking to in your example aren't the PC geeks you refer to - they're underpaid and undertrained helpdesk monkeys! However they're a necessary layer because you would be amazed how many calls come in where you DO have to explain what a reboot is and how to switch the monitor on...

 

I was supposed to get a Mac with the rest of the windfall that paid for the Z, but the Z has eaten that, so I'm stuck with a tossy laptop... at least we get W2K.

 

Your interview question Stu... lots of companies now have an official policy where there's an "expert" in each office which people should go to before they phone the helpdesk. It's face to face for a start - sometimes a problem that you can't fix over the phone takes 30 seconds if you're sat there fiddling with settings as things occur to you. (Much like fixing Z problems versus asking on here)

 

And working in first-, second-, or third- line support is bloody awful, which is why I don't do it any more. ;) The problem is the user is already in a bad mood as soon as you pick up the phone, because they have a problem. (Or think they have.)