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for those of you who've had a bad day

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Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of

forest while assessing the damage done by a forestfire. The deceased male

was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back,

flippers, and face mask.


A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but from massive

internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification.

Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clad diver ended up in

the middle of a forest fire.


It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the person went for a diving

trip off the coast some 20 miles from the forest.


The fire-fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible,

called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was

dipped from the ocean and then flown to the forest fire and emptied.


You guessed it.......One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the

Pacific, the next he was doing the breast stroke in a fire

dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Apparently he extinguished exactly 5'10" of

the fire.


Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.


This article was taken from the California Examiner, March 20, 1998




A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the

kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle when it

accidentally slipped into gear. The man, still holding onto the handle

bars, was dragged through the glass patio doors and along with the

motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house.


The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room and found her husband

lying on the floor, cut and bleeding, the motorcycle lying next to him and

the shattered patio door. The wife ran to the phone and summoned the



Because they lived on a fairly large hill, the wife went down the several

flights of stairs to the street to escort the paramedics to her husband.

After the ambulance arrived and transported the man to the hospital, the

wife uprighted the motorcycle and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas was

spilled on the floor, the wife got some paper towels, blotted up the

gasoline, and threw the towels in the toilet.


The man was treated and released to come home. Upon arriving home, he looked

at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He

became despondent, went to the bathroom, sat down on the toilet and smoked a

cigarette. After finishing the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs

into the toilet bowl while seated. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard

the loud explosion and her husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and

found her husband lying on the floor. His trousers had been blown away and

he was suffering burns on the buttocks, the backof his legs, and his groin.

The wife again ran to the phone to call the ambulance.


The very same paramedic crew was dispatched and the wife met them at the

street. The paramedics loaded the husband on to the stretcher and began

carrying him to the street. While they were going down the stairs to the

street accompanied by the wife, one of the paramedics asked the wife how the

husband had burned himself.


She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them

slipped and tipped the stretcher, dumping the husband out. He fell down the

remaining stairs and broke his arm.


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Guest jvnewcomb1961

Now i need the toilet, im pee'ing myself here. LMFAO




"Polished on drive"


"Dirty at 156mph"


Z first and anything else is secondary and live life a quarter mile at a time!

John Newcomb (NukeEm)


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